At the end of the day I feel defeated.
I can be going along having a perfectly good day, thinking all is well and that I have been accomplishing a lot and then dinner is over and suddenly I feel like nothing got done, there is still so much to do and I am way too tired to do it. Does anyone else get like this? Do you get bedtime blues? I need to find a way to change this.
I am sure this has a lot to do with the fact that I have not had a night of uninterrupted sleep in over four months. I have no reason to think Joseph is going to stop waking up to eat anytime soon. I finally went and bought my favorite sleep book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I borrowed it for my other two kids, but couldn't remember everything it said. I am not sure if it made me feel better or worse to know that it is normal for him to be waking like this until about nine months. But it has been helpful for me for his naps.
I have given up on keeping my house clean. Not that I am just going to stop cleaning it, I am just lowering my standard for clean because it has never gotten there. It got there once when my mom helped me a lot just before I had Joseph, but this house is too big for me to keep up with. I read a sign once that said, "a clean house is a wasted life." I agree to a point. I don't want to spend all my days cleaning, but I also don't want to live in mess and clutter. The challenge is finding a balance and I will probably find it right before I die.
The upside of life right now it that March is my favorite time of year. I love it. A lot.