Russ did my hair

Zoo Lights

Feeling a bit altered

This past week and a half have been interesting. My nephew passed away after 2 short days of life. It has been very interesting having this happen at the start of the Christmas season. Knowing this little baby has changed me in many ways, and all for the better.

My brother and his wife asked me to make the guest book and the program for the funeral services. His name, Miles, means soldier and we wanted to go with that theme. Here is the program. My mom and sister in law like the idea of toy soldiers and my brother liked the idea of real soldiers. Here are some picutres of the luncheon. And when I asked what color they would like the guest book to be my brother said, "red". So that is what I had to get started. I couldn't find the kind of book I wanted to use so I went to D.I. and actually found a kids book about D Day full of pictures of soldiers, so I decided to make an altered book. I went to the scrapbook store to look for anything toy soldier and found nothing. But I did find some cute paper that was the colors I wanted, so I got to work. Here is the finished product.

Mark and Ashley said they like, I hope they really do. I am glad I was able to make this for them.

Pow! Boom! Crash!

This is what happens when I tell William to go get dressed by himself. He stayed like this for something like 20 min. before he got real cloths on.

Watch out Christian Bale, he is looking pretty good.

Just kidding Christian, I did not mean it.

Taking advantage

Today I took advantage of the fact that:

1. it is overcast outside

2. my kids were in nice clothes

3. my kids like hold hands!

The walked down the whole length of this fence stopping to laugh at each other every few feet.

I tried to give them directions during this impromptu photo taking session, but they ignored everything I said. And thank goodness they did.

Hurt

Yesterday baby Miles passed away.
Last night...
I got home and my eyes and head hurt from crying,

my back hurt from sitting in hospital chairs,

my mind hurt from thinking heavy thoughts,

my knees hurt from praying (not literally, but you know what I mean)

but most of all my heart hurt for my brother and his sweet wife. I wish I could take this away.

Ashley and I got pregnant at the same time and come march, neither if us will have a baby to hold. That's HARD. But we will both be okay.

I took as many pictures as my battery would let me. Why oh why did I not charge my battery the night before! I love baby Miles.

here he is by his Daddy's handand here is his hand by his aunt Debbie's finger.Russ saying goodbye.Russ holding him without all the tubing. He is such a handsome baby. His nose is so defined for a baby, let alone a baby that is not fully developed. Last night I was trying to explain to William that he died and that is a concept that is really hard for him to understand. I told him that his body was still here but that his spirit was in heaven with Heavenly Father and Jesus and he said, "oh, is Heavenly Father holding him?" and I said yes and he said, "that's happy." Yes William it is. I may have told a white lie. I don't actually know that Heavenly Father is holding him. From what I understand his parents are the ones he needs to hold more right now, and I think he is.

Today

I am trying to get my house in better order so I can put up Christmas decorations.

I am staying close to my phone to hear any news about this little guy.

I am praying that, God willing, he will live. Will you pray with me?